My 2020 Father’s Day message.
Tag: child
Put A “Joy” Sticker On It!
Why do little kids like to play with stickers? When my girls were younger, if the grocery clerk would give them stickers it wasn’t long before there were stickers everywhere. Maybe they are trying to improve their world? What is on the sticker appeals to them? They can change things by labeling them. Works for them. We’re supposed to ‘become like little children’. Maybe there’s some wisdom here?
In the Bible, James 1:2 ESV says:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds
When you look in your refrigerator for something to eat you begin to see each item and you begin to categorize it, you’re taking inventory. Maybe you want something sweet and you see the eggs there, in your mind you may say ‘breakfast’ – ‘not sweet!’ – ‘not now!’ Then you find the key-lime pie! (I have some in my fridge right now.) In your mind, if you were to put some word stickers on that pie you might consider these: ‘happy’, ‘yes’, ‘delicious’, ‘tempting’, ‘diet!’, ‘vacation from diet’. There are many ways you might label that pie. Some might say, “I don’t have time to label anything! Where’s the fork?”
James said, in the Bible, to count it all joy when you run into all kinds of trials. Now if someone hands me $100 bill I can see in my mind, taking inventory and putting a ‘joy’ sticker on that. Or if someone served me that key-lime pie on a plate with a fork, I can put a ‘joy’ sticker on that! But, what if someone steps on your toe? OOOWWW!!! Some people yell as loud as they can, making it clear and plain to everyone around them that they are hurt and they want everyone to know it!
Proverbs 12:16 NIV says,” Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.”
If something angers you or annoys you and you instantly lash out with a strong negative response it most often doesn’t do anyone any good, including yourself. Many times the complaint is a bigger problem than what they are complaining about. In turn complainers can become too much for people to handle.
Years ago I was talking to a mechanic (he obviously wasn’t a very good one) who couldn’t get a light to go off in a car so he broke the light with a screwdriver. He saw the light not going off as his problem, so he fixed his problem. When people complain a lot, they are like a red warning light telling you that something is wrong. The logical thing is to try to fix the problem that is causing the warning light to go off. But people aren’t always logical…some people just want to get rid of the warning light.
If you complain too much about things, you may end up lonely, because people just want to get away from you. We don’t want you to be lonely. God doesn’t want you to be lonely. Loneliness is the first thing in creation that God disapproved of. “It’s not good for man to be alone.”
When you see trials coming your way, any kind of trial, imagine putting a joy sticker on it. Label that thing “JOY!” In your mind call it “Joy”. Now you could, instead, call it “Mighty Problem That Has The Potential To Destroy Me” or “The Thing That Could Ruin My Life.” But if you name it that, then it has the power to become that. In your mind categorize it as a simple problem that you and God can overcome. Remember, it’s not a big deal! Call it Joy. When it comes to problems, remember this phrase: “It came to pass.” It didn’t come to stay.
If you call your problems “Joy” you are giving them way less power to overtake you.
So, today my advice is simple, see a problem? Put a joy sticker on it.
Have a great day!
Temptation
Matthew 26 (KJV):
40 And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
A friend of mine writes books about family matters, one of his quotes is ‘peer pressure is only as strong as family identity is weak.’ (Gary Ezzo)
Peer pressure is an external emotional pressure that works to get you to conform to a certain line of thinking or behavior. It’s pack mentality; go with the crowd. The bigger the crowd, the stronger the influence. Gravely, negative behavior has come about in kids from great families because peer pressure won.
A family must create or discern its own identity and develops its own ‘family pressure’. If there is buy-in by most or all of the members then a sufficient offset to peer pressure exists. It’s really a battle between two different mindsets- the family vs. the peer crowd. It’s two different crowds. It’s two different directions. It’s two different sets of values.
If a child spends more time with their friends than with their family the influence of their friends will be strengthened. If they spend more time with their family, then they will find family values and ideas to be more acceptable.
You have to believe in the set of values you follow. It helps if you are around others who also believe in those same values so you can successfully live out those values in your life.
Jesus said to watch and pray so that you won’t fall into temptation. Can you see how you will be stronger against temptation if you spend time with God in prayer? You will be influenced with His values, His desires, His ways. As you get to know Him better the influence and ways of the world become more and more distasteful. Temptation loses its strength. The more time you spend with God in prayer the stronger you will be against temptation. As a matter of fact, temptation becomes a non-issue.
Resisting temptation is easy if you are strongly identified with Jesus. If you identify with being part of God’s family then you know who you are.
Do you know how much I’m tempted to do drugs right now? Zero! Not at all. I’m not around drugs. I don’t hang out with people who are doing drugs, I have no desire for the high that drugs produce. I’m quite happy without them. So there is the freedom from temptation because of the proximity to the temptation.
But when I was in high school, I used to take my guitar and go out behind the school on the other side of a hill and play my guitar for all the kids who were getting high. I never saw them doing the drugs I could just always see that glassy look in their eyes and I noticed their altered state of mind. I was around them a lot. Apparently my guitar playing was quite impressive when they were high. But I can tell you quite honestly that in all that time I was never once tempted to partake in their drugs. I knew who I was, I was regularly reading my Bible, I was constantly praying. I was aware of God’s presence. I also knew who my family was and what they stood for. Actually in my family we used to make fun of people who had to use alcohol or drugs to have a good time. To be quite honest in my young mind, an image had formed through family conversations to the effect that joy was for higher life forms and lower life forms had to use drugs and alcohol to partake of joy. Because of this mindset, right or wrong, I never envied the people who were getting high. I just enjoyed playing guitar for them, because they seemed to enjoy it as well.
So, I want to encourage you that temptation may be quite helpful to you in that it exposes where you may have a weak philosophy about something. Maybe you don’t believe something as deeply as you should. The Devil looks for open doors not solid walls. So go revisit what you believe in the area you are being tempted in. Go find out why you believe what you believe. You might need to fortify something. You might need to strengthen your beliefs so that you’ll be stronger.
Transition: By Natalie Barlow
You know that feeling when you’re at the top of a roller coaster? You’ve gone up the steep incline, you see the exhilarating drop that is about to come, you’re nervous, excited, scared out of your mind, ecstatic, and peace seems like it’s completely out of your reach. It’s transition time. Yeah, that’s pretty much where life has been at lately… moving out of the home 3 months ago, getting engaged 2 months ago, most of the girls that I’ve mentored have gone off to college, so God has begun to bring new ones, my family is on a Sabbatical from ministry for the first time ever, I’m running the church with the rest of the team while they’re gone, and my brother just moved to California today. I feel so many things right now. Some good, some not so good. It’s not a common occurrence for me to just feel emotions but I know it’s a healthy time to do so. So here’s my processing.
I miss my family. It’s finally been setting in that I’m an adult, living away from home, times with the family are no longer consistent, goodbyes have become more difficult and it’s really rough when I think about the fact that I won’t get to be a part of the daily life at home, watching my siblings grow up, and hearing and seeing every ridiculous and adorable thing that they do. Yet at the same time, I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I love living on my own. Times with the family are now more intentional and “full”. My roommates are wonderful, no crazy stories here! I’m so blessed by each one of them… they are a true gift from God and I love doing life with them.
I’m so thankful to have the greatest fiancé in the world. For real, I know I talk about him a lot, but I will never fully be able to express the love and appreciation that I have for Danny. I’m so blessed to do life alongside this man, he challenges me, cares for me, he knows me. They say to be loved is to be known. I have never felt more known by somebody in my entire life, and yet loved so fully. Last night I finally let the tears flow, this week has been full of a lot of heavy things and big changes with my family and friends, and as I cried, he sat there and chose to just “be” with me. And after my face was swollen and I had used about 20 tissues, he then encouraged me in who I was, in the season I’m in, I think he saw that I was fearing the drop on this roller coaster, that I was looking at all the scary things that could happen, yet, he grabbed my hand, told me that we’re in this together, and showed me that this new season is good, that it’s okay to face reality, it’s a big change, but none of these changes are bad…they’re actually some of the most wonderful things that could happen! I began to realize that peace isn’t out of my reach.
It talks in the Bible about how God gives us a peace that passes all understanding. The truth is, that’s what I need right now. There’s uncertainty, there’s sadness, there’s joy, there’s fear, there’s heaviness, there’s A LOT of change, and it’s easy to think I have to carry all of this, but when I take a step back and look at it all, I see that His plans are good and they’re not supposed to weigh me down. All those negative things I feel are just feelings. They don’t define truth. They don’t define my life. It’s okay for me to identify that they’re there, but the minute that I step into letting fear control me, is the minute that I resist the peace that He has for me…and that’s all I truly want right now, so why hold on to fear? Why hold on to doubt and uncertainty when I could let go of those things and grab on to peace?! The peace that passes all understanding, it’s mine, and I choose to operate in this peace that allows me to throw my hands in the air, smile and laugh and enjoy the ride. Bring on that drop, I’m ready for this roller coaster!
Joseph Barlow 